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Step 2: Safety when preparing to leave Victims frequently leave the residence they share with the abuser. Leaving must be done with a careful plan in order to increase safety. Abusers often strike back when they believe that a victim is trying to escape them. I can use some or all of the following safety strategies: A. I will leave money and an extra set of keys with ______________ so that I can leave quickly. B. I will keep copies of important documents or keys at ______________. C. I will open a savings account to increase my independence. Make sure the statement is NOT sent to your home where the abuser will find out about it. Use a post office box, your work address, a friend's address. If you get an ATM card with the account, don't keep it in your wallet where it can be found. Also, keep some cash in your "kit." Make sure you've got enough for cab fare, a night's stay at a motel and a couple of meals. DO NOT USE JOINT CREDIT CARDS. This is an easy way for the abuser to find out where you are and track what you're doing. Financial control is one of the biggest factors when a victim returns to an abuser. It doesn't do much long term good to leave unless you can STAY gone long enough to get on your own feet. If time and circumstances allow, get yourself a private credit card that you can use without the knowledge of the abuser. D. Other things I can do to increase my independence include: ______________ E. The domestic violence program's hot line number is ______________ and I can seek shelter by calling this hot line. F. I can keep change for phone calls or a phone card on me at all times. (If you use your home telephone credit card, the following month the bill can tell the abuser those numbers you called after you left. To keep phone communications confidential, either use coins or purchase a phone card to use when you leave.) G. I will check with ______________ and ______________ to see who would be able to let me stay with them or lend me some money. H. I can leave extra clothes with ______________. I. I will sit down and review my safety plan every ______________ in order to plan the safest way to leave the residence. ______________ has agreed to help me review this plan. J. I will rehearse my escape plan and, as appropriate, practice it with my children. |